I returned to my home yesterday, and I know that I have changed. I know that things around me have changed. It felt empty this morning when Lauren or Alex or Rosie wasn't standing over me telling me to wake up. It felt empty without 11 other girls waking up around me. I don't know what to do with myself now, and I'm not sure how to handle the outside world yet.
In my mind, I have a pretty decent grip on things. But in reality, I hardly know anything. I don't know what people will say and I don't know what people will think. Frankly, I'm scared. I don't want to face the outside world. I'll still stand up and be strong, but I don't know how long I can keep up the act that everything's simply okay. Because it's not.
As some of you may know, a terrible tragedy occurred this past summer (6-19-11). (And this is where I don't know what to say.) I'll say that my summer was unforgettable.
Andrew Silvershein, otherwise known as Sunshine, made up part of our Gesher. He was part of our 72. But the thing is, he's still part of that 72. We all are, no matter how far apart we may be. He was and is a defining part of our Gesher. We will always remember him as the amazing person that he was.
At this point in time, I'm not willing to tell the story. I'm not ready to do that. Right now, I'm raw emotion, and I'm not ready to expose that. I have to face myself before I can face the rest of the world. So, this is all that I'm willing to say right now.
We just all have to remember that we are Gesher '11. And we will always be 72 Strong.
Believe in the sun, even when it is not shining מאמין בשמש גם כשהיא לא זורחת
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